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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26662060">Closed eyes, open heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Defy_them/pseuds/FiresideGuitar'>FiresideGuitar (Defy_them)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jumping into the timejump [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last of Us (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Cuddling, Dina POV, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, One Shot, Outbreak Day, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Last of Us Day, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:34:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,848</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26662060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Defy_them/pseuds/FiresideGuitar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dina has a nightmare. Ellie is there for her.</p><p>An emotional, soft, hurt/comfort-centric one shot to mark this year’s The Last of Us Day</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dina &amp; Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jumping into the timejump [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1910350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>134</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Closed eyes, open heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’ve taken a short break from my main WIP (<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26281306/">From the edge of the universe</a>, please give it a go if you haven’t read it yet!) to get this one-shot up in time for September 26th.</p><p>I’ve tagged this fic with Outbreak Day for archiving reasons, but I know it’s The Last of Us Day now. Hope you enjoy reading this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dina took a deep breath and centred her balance. In one smooth movement, she kicked off with her left foot before bringing it up to join the right one on the skateboard.</p><p>
  <em> Damn, not bad Dina. </em>
</p><p>She gave her knees an experimental bend, flexing slightly over the board.</p><p>
  <em> This is easy! I don’t know what Talia was going on abo—ARGH! </em>
</p><p>Her self-congratulations were cut short as she tried to bring her foot down to pick up some more speed, but instead overbalanced and caused the board to shoot out from underneath her.</p><p>
  <b> <em>CRACK!</em> </b>
</p><p>She had landed badly, her head hitting the ground with a sickening sound. She rolled around on the floor, clutching her head and moaning in agony.</p><p>“Ouch. That’s gotta hurt.”</p><p>Dina’s eyes shot up at the sound of the voice.</p><p>Ellie was there. She was leaning against the side of the garage, runaway skateboard trapped by her foot as she slowly rolled it backwards and forwards underneath her.</p><p>“You ride with a goofy stance. Did you know that?”</p><p>Dina frowned. This wasn’t right. She hadn’t found Jackson at this point. She didn’t know Ellie. It was only her and Talia…</p><p>
  <em> Talia. </em>
</p><p>Dina whipped her head around, looking for her sister. Ellie followed her actions with an amused smile, but did not leave her spot at the wall. The skateboard continued to rock back and forth under her foot, the wheels scraping against the concrete in a rhythmic beat. “Looking for something?”</p><p>“Talia. She was right here. I remember. She heard me when I hit the ground. She came running. I had fallen on my knife…” Dina looked down and sure enough, there was a slash of bright crimson across her shirt, starting at the side of her hip and curling around to her belly button. </p><p>It was weird though...her head was pounding from the impact with the ground, but this cut didn’t hurt at all.</p><p>Dina gave the injury an experimental prod through the fabric of her shirt. Still nothing. <em> What the fuck… </em></p><p>She looked up, about to ask Ellie what was going on, but found herself all alone in the garage.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>CRACK!</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>In a flash, the garage disappeared from around her. Now they were outside, in the middle of the New Mexico desert. It was approaching dusk.</p><p>Dina’s head still hurt.</p><p>“Dude, that is definitely going to leave a scar.”</p><p>This time the voice came from right beside her. Dina flinched in surprise, jumping back as best she could, considering that she was still sprawled out on the floor.</p><p>She thought that this time it would be Talia. But when Dina looked to the side, she was greeted again by a head of auburn hair.</p><p>Ellie was kneeling next to her, head bowed, examining her injury. When Ellie looked up into her eyes, she was no longer smiling. “Was it worth it?” she asked somberly.</p><p>“Was what worth it?” Dina replied. Deep down, she knew Ellie wasn’t asking about her short joyride on the skateboard.</p><p>Ellie said nothing to answer Dina’s question. Instead, she shuffled behind her, supporting her back as she helped Dina get into a sitting position.</p><p>When Ellie returned to face Dina, she held up her hands. A wad of gauze had appeared in one fist, and several bandages in the other.</p><p>“Hold still.”</p><p><em> Do I have a choice? </em> Dina thought to herself, but did as she was told.</p><p>As Ellie reached down to touch her stomach, Dina’s injury stopped feeling like nothing at all.</p><p>Suddenly, it was on fire.</p><p>Dina’s eyes rolled into the back of her head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>CRACK!</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>They weren’t in the desert anymore. They were surrounded by a forest of tall trees, typical of what one would find in north-west USA. Instead of the floor, Dina was now sitting on a tree stump. Her hip wasn’t burning anymore, but the throbbing ache in her head remained the same. </p><p>A tattooed arm was unlooping the bandages wrapped around Dina’s stomach. Dina watched with fascination as the person worked. A green fern twisted its way around their forearm, ending with a detailed moth just below the crook of their elbow. As they tugged at the bandages, the moth almost looked like it was coming alive. Like it was about to take off from the person’s skin at any moment.</p><p>Finally, the last layer of the bandages fell away, revealing a puckered scar on Dina’s hip. She stared at it, mesmerised for a moment, before she heard the sound of a throat being cleared. She looked up, directly into blazing green eyes that were mere inches away from her own.</p><p>“See? Now we match.” The green eyes belonged to a girl, roughly the same age as Dina...perhaps a couple of years younger. Dina frowned, unsure what the girl meant by her comment. </p><p>The girl sighed and raised her hand to her own face, using a slender finger to tap at her eyebrow. </p><p>Dina forced herself to break their eye contact to follow the movement. She spotted a scar slashing through the girl’s eyebrow. It was faded — whatever had caused it must have happened a while ago.</p><p>Before Dina realised what she was doing, she had raised her hand to cup the side of the girl’s face. She leaned into Dina’s hand, sighing softly.</p><p>It all felt so achingly familiar. But Dina had no idea who this girl was.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>CRACK!</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m getting really sick of this headache.  </em>
</p><p>Dina heard laughter behind her. </p><p>
  <em> Did I say that out loud? </em>
</p><p>“No.”</p><p>The girl did not elaborate. Instead, she pulled on Dina’s hand, encouraging her to turn around and see where they were.</p><p>This time, they were standing at the edge of a cliff. The vantage point gave Dina a good view of the landscape below them. It was mainly an unbroken carpet of pine trees, but she could also see a small town nestled in the blanket of green. It was hard to make out any details from this distance, but she could see that the town was surrounded by a serious-looking wall.</p><p>“Jackson.”</p><p>“What?” It was the first word that Dina had spoken in this location. Her voice cracked as it left her throat. Like she hadn’t had to use it for years. She didn’t like the feeling.</p><p>“Jackson. That’s the name of the town.” The girl turned so she was facing Dina straight on. “They need you down there. You need to help them, Dina.”</p><p>“How do you know my name?”</p><p>The girl frowned. “Why don’t you know mine?”</p><p>Before Dina could say anything, the girl turned away, took a step out into empty air, and plummeted off the cliff.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>CRACK!</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>It was cold. Really cold. <em> Freezing-your-tits-off-cold</em>.</p><p>The phrase came to Dina, unbidden. She frowned. It was amusing, but it didn’t sound like something that she would say. She must have learnt it from someone else. But for the life of her, she couldn’t remember who.</p><p>At least it was so cold that, for a moment, Dina forgot about her headache. <em> Oh wait. There it is. </em></p><p>She wasn’t outside this time. Dina waited patiently for the girl to appear and explain where they were now. But as she looked around, she realised that the girl was nowhere to be found.</p><p>Dina was standing in a large room, alone. A fireplace sat in the corner. She imagined that if there had been a roaring fire, it would have efficiently and thoroughly banished the chill of the room. But as it was, the stone alcove was cold and lifeless.</p><p>A chandelier above her head was covered in deer antlers, matching the moose antlers hanging up on the nearby wall. She was facing a large window that looked out onto a snowy landscape. It looked like a blizzard had recently come through — the boughs of the closest pine trees were heavily laden with snow, and fresh powder had piled up at least a foot from the bottom of the glass.</p><p>As Dina approached the window to get a better look, her ears picked up a faint rattling noise. She moved out of the large room and into the adjoining kitchen, and the noise grew louder. More insistent.</p><p>Dina’s heart thumped in her chest. She did not know what was behind the noise, but it terrified her.</p><p>She reached the top of a set of stairs leading off from the kitchen. Only the top few treads were visible before they disappeared down into inky blackness.</p><p>Dina reached up to turn on the flashlight attached to her backpack strap — <em> Wait, was I wearing my backpack before? </em> — and started her descent. As the beam of her flashlight swept the narrow staircase, she finally saw what was making the noise.</p><p>The stairs ended in a solid wood door. The handle that was set into it was violently rattling. Like someone was desperately trying to open it from the other side.</p><p>She finally reached the end of the stairs and approached the door. She did not know what was louder at this point — the rattling doorknob, or the sound of the blood that was pounding in her ears.</p><p>But as she reached out to touch the handle, it suddenly stilled. The landing at the bottom of the stairs became deathly silent. Dina pushed on the door, and it swung open with barely a whisper.</p><p>Dina had found the girl.</p><p>She was crouched to the side of the basement, a silhouette against a window made of thick, square blocks of cut glass. They were splashed with blood.</p><p>As Dina shuffled into the room, the girl stood up and moved out of the way, revealing someone lying on the floor behind her. Dina looked at the girl, wordlessly asking for permission to approach. She nodded her consent, and Dina moved towards her to look at the figure on the ground.</p><p>It was a man. He had salt and pepper hair and a trimmed beard. Dina guessed he was in his late 50s, but it was hard to tell through all the blood.</p><p>He was definitely dead.</p><p>The girl stood by her side. Dina saw her scuffing her shoes on the floor out of the corner of her eye.</p><p>“What was his name, Dina?”</p><p>Dina turned to face the girl. She didn’t think they were standing that close, but suddenly her whole field of vision was filled with the girl’s face. She bore an expression Dina couldn’t quite figure out, but somehow conveyed a devastating sense of loss, confusion and injustice all at once.</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>The girl stepped impossibly closer.</p><p>“What is <em> my </em> name, Dina?”</p><p>Dina looked down in shame. She recognised the girl’s fierce green eyes. Her faded eyebrow scar. Her intricate tattoo. But she didn’t recognise her.</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>CRACK!</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Unlike the previous transitions, this one felt violent. Like an invisible hand had ripped Dina away from that basement and thrown her into this new setting. </p><p>Her voice swirled around her. It sounded angry.</p><p>
  <em> “I’m not infected! I’m immune!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What are we supposed to do now?” </em>
</p><p>Dina screwed her eyes shut and covered her ears with her hands, trying to block out the voice. It was useless. It was like the girl’s words were being drilled directly into her brain.</p><p>
  <em> “Well you’re a burden now, aren’t you?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I made her talk.” </em>
</p><p>But then the voice grew quiet. Soft. Tender. </p><p><em> “I don’t want to lose you</em>.”</p><p>Dina cautiously lifted her hands away from her face. The voice had stopped, and she was left alone in...where was she exactly?</p><p>She looked around her, taking in her surroundings. She was lying on a stuffed backless couch in the middle of a dimly lit room. A low counter ran along one wall, with a row of mirrors above it. The only sources of light were small light globes that surrounded the mirrors, casting the room in a soft yellow glow.</p><p>Then she heard the thumping. Dina’s heart plummeted into her stomach.</p><p>She jumped up and ran out of the room, following the noise with a desperation she could not explain. She just knew that she had to hurry.</p><p>Dina dodged around piles of painted wood and faded mannequins as the sound grew louder and louder. Finally, she rounded a corner and found the girl.</p><p>She was lying on the floor, pinned under a muscular woman with a blonde braid. The woman was pummelling her into the ground with unforgiving fists. Dina’s instincts took over as she unsheathed her knife from her thigh holster, letting out a guttural yell as she pounced on the woman.</p><p>Dina had braced for the impact, so she was surprised when she ghosted straight through the woman and fell heavily on the floor. </p><p>The woman seemed unperturbed by Dina’s attack.</p><p>It was like Dina wasn’t there at all.</p><p>She could only watch helplessly from the floor as the woman continued to lay into the poor girl.</p><p>A sharp snap signalled that the girl’s nose had broken, which seemed to finally satisfy the woman. She stood up and gave the girl one final look. It almost looked like...pity? <em> That can’t be right. </em> But then the woman exited the room, leaving Dina and the girl sprawled out on the floor next to each other.</p><p>“Ouch. That’s gotta hurt.” The girl was looking at Dina, rapidly swelling bruises threatening to close her eyes, but she was holding them open and looking down at Dina’s chest. Dina followed her gaze and saw that she had, yet again, landed on her knife. </p><p>
  <em> Idiot. </em>
</p><p>Like before, she couldn’t feel a thing. But unlike before, when the knife had just grazed her side, this time it was buried to the hilt in her shoulder.</p><p>“Dude, that is definitely going to leave a scar.”</p><p>It was far from logical, but Dina was suddenly overcome with frustration. How dare this girl continue to care about Dina’s injuries, when she herself had been hurt so badly?</p><p>But Dina had no idea how to put that in words, so she settled on replying with a snarky “Have you met you?”</p><p>It was far from her best in terms of comebacks, and came out with more bite than she intended, but the girl simply rolled her eyes and chuckled in response. For a minute the girl looked straight up at the ceiling, blinking slowly. Her breathing was laboured, blood in her throat gurgling on each exhale. Eventually she flopped her head to the side so she was looking at Dina again. She had an impossibly sad look on her face.</p><p>“I thought I was meant to be the funny one.” She blinked back tears. “Who am I, Dina?”</p><p>Dina still had no response to that. Not even a snide one. “I don’t know,” she whispered in defeat.</p><p>The girl nodded resignedly. She reached her hand out into the empty space between them. Dina mirrored the movement, barely managing to brush the girl’s fingertips with her own. </p><p>The corner of the girl’s mouth moved up in a soft smile. As Dina watched, she breathed out and her eyes fluttered closed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>CRACK!</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>“ELLIE!!”</p><p>Dina shot up from bed. Distantly, she heard a heavy thump, but couldn’t place what caused it. She rubbed at the raised goosebumps running down her arms. She was drenched in sweat and was shivering.</p><p>At least the throbbing headache was gone.</p><p>She forced her eyes to focus in the almost complete darkness. Slowly, she picked out the details of the bedroom. The chest of drawers facing the foot of the bed. The wooden cot sitting underneath the window, bathed in a sliver of soft moonlight.</p><p>
  <em> It was just a dream. </em>
</p><p>She was at the farm.</p><p>She was in their bed.</p><p>She was home.</p><p>Dina took a deep breath in an attempt to still her wildly beating heart. She laid one hand on her swollen belly, and used the other to reach behind her, needing to feel Ellie by her side.</p><p>However, she only managed to grab a fistful of fabric. Confused, Dina looked over her shoulder.</p><p>The bed was empty.</p><p>Any progress she made in calming down was quickly dissipated at the sight of the vacant sheets.</p><p>
  <em> It wasn’t a dream. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m alone. </em>
</p><p>“Di?”</p><p>Dina blinked as a pair of familiar green eyes popped up over the side of the bed.</p><p>She shuddered in relief as Ellie stood up from the floor and slid between the bedsheets. Dina melted into her touch as Ellie pulled her into a firm embrace. At first, Dina dared not tear her eyes away from Ellie in case she disappeared again. But as she felt Ellie’s strong arms loop around her, she allowed Ellie to reposition them in the bed so that they were both facing in the same direction, Dina’s back snug against Ellie’s front. They tangled their legs together underneath the sheets.</p><p>She felt Ellie reach up to tuck her hair behind her ear, then she moved her hand down to rest above Dina’s heart. </p><p>“With me, okay?” Ellie instructed gently but firmly, the puffs of air as she spoke tickling the back of Dina’s neck.</p><p>Dina nodded and focused her attention on the point where her shoulderblade met Ellie’s chest, where she could feel the strong, reassuring beat of Ellie’s heart. Dina heard Ellie take a deep breath in behind her, accompanied by a light push against her back as Ellie’s chest expanded. Dina mirrored the action, filling her lungs with as much air as she could manage between shivers.</p><p>They held their breath for a moment, then Ellie led them into a long, slow exhale. While Ellie emptied her lungs in one steady movement, Dina’s came out in several stuttering bursts.</p><p>“Again,” Ellie whispered from behind her, and they went through the motions a few more times. Eventually, Dina managed to corral her breathing until it was almost as smooth as Ellie’s. Almost.</p><p>Alongside their breathing, Dina felt her heart settling down until it matched the tempo of the pulse at the back of her shoulder. She knew Ellie was monitoring her progress in the same way, through the hand that was still resting against her chest.</p><p>“Nightmare?” Ellie murmured behind her. Dina nodded in response.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>Another nod, smaller this time.</p><p>Dina felt Ellie slide her hand from her chest to rest on her belly.</p><p>“And this little troublemaker? Are they okay too?”</p><p>Dina smiled in the darkness. It was a small thing, but Dina always appreciated how Ellie checked in on her these days. She was one of the few people who treated her as more than a walking incubator for an unborn child.</p><p>Dina knew the people of Jackson meant well when they fawned over her belly. But more than a few of them had the habit of reaching out to feel the baby kick before asking for her permission, if they asked at all. Ellie cared for the baby of course, but no matter the situation, she always asked if Dina herself was okay first.</p><p>“Yeah, they’re doing okay,” she replied lowly. She pulled Ellie’s arm tighter around her, closed her eyes and tried to settle back into sleep. </p><p>However, a rogue thought interrupted that plan almost immediately. Her eyes flew open.</p><p>“Wait. Why were you on the floor?”</p><p>Dina felt Ellie’s body vibrate against her as she laughed. “Uh, when you woke up it was kinda...violent. You practically shoved me off the bed.”</p><p>Dina’s mouth dropped open and she wiggled on the bed until she was facing Ellie. “Shit Ellie, I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Ellie reassured her, smiling, “I just landed a bit weirdly on my tailbone, is all.” She put on a show of grimacing as she rubbed at the small of her back. </p><p>Dina tried to help, but with her baby bump between them, she couldn’t quite reach where Ellie was massaging. She ended up flopping her hand across Ellie’s hip like a dead fish.</p><p>Ellie chuckled at the attempted gesture. “Babe, it’s okay, really,” she said, reaching down to grasp Dina’s flailing arm and drawing it up to rest on the pillow between them. Ellie spread their fingers out, lacing hers between Dina’s and playing with the digits gently.</p><p>She looked at Dina.</p><p>Really looked at her.</p><p>Ellie’s pupils had been blown wide by the darkness of their room, the green of her irises just a thin ring around the edge. Dina felt like she was falling straight down into them.</p><p>“Wanna talk about it?”</p><p>Dina shifted uncomfortably on the bed. She didn’t know why, but the dream embarrassed her. Like she was ashamed of what she did in it.</p><p>But Ellie’s gaze was so earnest, and so free of judgement, that Dina nodded.</p><p>“I...I forgot you.”</p><p>Ellie pursed her lips, thinking. “I figured it was something to do with me, considering that it was my name that you yelled when you woke up.” She quirked an eyebrow. “But you forgot me?” She paused for a moment, then grinned. “How could you ever forget <em> this? </em>” She propped up her head with her free hand, briefly striking a sultry pose reminiscent of a pin-up girl. She looked so ridiculous that Dina snorted.</p><p>“As hard as it is to believe, I did.” Dina’s tone returned to serious, and Ellie likewise dialed down the cheeky spark in her eye. She gave Dina’s hand a reassuring squeeze, encouraging her to continue.</p><p>“It wasn’t like you had gone. You were there, still. But I didn’t...I didn’t know who you were.” Dina could feel tears gathering in her eyes as she looked up at Ellie. “And at some point, you didn’t know who <em> you </em> were either.” </p><p>She drew in a shuddering breath. “I was so scared, Ellie.” A single tear rolled down her cheek and she buried her face into Ellie’s chest.</p><p>She felt Ellie gently trace small circles at the nape of her neck as she cried into her shirt.</p><p>Ellie held her quietly, until eventually she ran out of tears.</p><p>Dina drew back with a soft hiccup, returning to her former position of looking deep into Ellie’s eyes.</p><p>“Wild guess. Does this, by any chance, have something to do with what happened yesterday afternoon?”</p><p>Dina cocked her head, puzzled.</p><p>“Remember? You put the dirty clothes in the trash instead of the laundry basket.”</p><p>Dina’s brain flickered with the memory. <em> Oh yeah. I did do that. </em></p><p>“Baby brain is totally a real thing, you know,” Ellie continued. “Sure, I would prefer a less passive-aggressive way of you telling me that you don’t like one of my flannels,” she paused as Dina poked her tongue out at her, “but I forgive you.”</p><p>Ellie’s hand glided up and down Dina’s arm. Dina broke their eye contact to follow the movement.</p><p>“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Ellie whispered. “You know what? You get a free pass for forgetting all chores from this point on. Because I know you’ll never forget this. Forget us.” Ellie ducked her head to catch Dina’s eye again. “Yeah?”</p><p>Dina smiled. “Yeah.”</p><p>Ellie drew her close, and together they drifted off to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was my first time having a go at a more surreal, prose-like style of writing. I’d love to get some feedback on what you thought of it — kudos &amp; comments are very much appreciated.</p><p>Hope you all have a good The Last of Us Day :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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